Matthew R. Perry

How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb? (Humor)

In Church Life, Humor on June 27, 2006 at 6:52 pm

Charismatic:  Only 1 – Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal:  10 – One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians:  None – Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic:
  None – Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)

Baptists:  At least 15 – One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians:  3 – One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons:  5 – One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians:  We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sundayervice, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists:  Undetermined – Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene:  6 – One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans:  None – Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish:  What is a light bulb?


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