Matthew R. Perry

Weird Al Yankovic Knows the Pulse of our Society — Yes, Really!!

In Uncategorized on April 9, 2007 at 9:23 pm

I and John Divito may be the only two guys in the Christian blogosphere who actually are admitted fans of Weird Al Yankovic (although John’s devotion far surpasses mine). In fact, John’s posts on his blog reacquainted me with Weird Al’s music. While he is an expert at parodies of popular songs, he is also someone who has a way of revealing various idiotic idiosyncracies in our culture.

Off of his latest album, Straight Out of Lynwood, he includes an original composition called “I’ll Sue Ya.” Here are the lyrics:

I sued Taco Bell
‘Cause I ate half-a-million Chalupas and I got fat
I sued Panasonic
They never said I shouldn’t use their microwave to dry off my cat, huh

I sued Earthlink
‘Cause I called ’em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold
I sued Starbucks
‘Cause I spilled a frappucino in my lap and brr, it was cold

I sued Toys ‘R Us
Cause I swallowed a Nerf ball and nearly choked to death, huh
I sued PetCo
‘Cause I ate a bag of kitty litter and now I got bad breath

I sued Coca-Cola, yo
‘Cause I put my finger down in a bottle and it got stuck
I sued Delta Airlines
‘Cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey – I went there, and it [stunk].

If you stand me up on a date
If you deliver my pizza thirty seconds late

I’m gonna sue, sue, yes, I’m gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna sue, sue, yes, I’m gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, I might even sue you

I sued Duracell
They never told me not to shove that double-A right up my nose
I sued Home Depot
‘Cause they sold me a hammer which they knew I might drop on my toes

I sued Dell Compueters
‘Cause I took a bath with my laptop, now it doesn’t work
I sued Fruit Of The Loom
‘Cause when I wear my tighty-whities on my head I look like a jerk

I sued Verizon
‘Cause I get all depressed every time my cell phone is roaming
I sued Colorado
‘Cause you know, I think it looks a little bit too much like Wyoming

I sued Neiman Marcus
‘Cause they put up their Christmas decorations way out of season
I sued Ben Affleck
Aww, do I even need a reason?

If I sprain my ankle while I’m robbin’ your place
If I hurt my knuckles while I punch you in the face

I’m gonna sue, sue, yes, I’m gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna sue, sue, yes, I’m gonna sue
Sue, sue, that’s right, I’m gonna sue you

(Written by Al Yankovic.  Copyright (c) 2006 Ear Booker Music, BMI)

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  1. Matt,

    I’m gonna sue you for mentioning me on your blog!

    For those who want to see the video for this song, “Weird Al” has posted it online: “I’ll Sue Ya.”

  2. If you folks are fans of Weird Al Yankovic, then you really oughta be sold-out fans for the totally cool Christian parody band, ApologetiX!

    Eric Pement, yet another ApologetiX fan

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